I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
