i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
