We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
