it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
