That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
