i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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