I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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