This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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