I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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