Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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