It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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