and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
