Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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