So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
