Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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