...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
