Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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