You're my little dorito
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
