His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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