no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Why are your pants in the freezer?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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