That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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