youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
