But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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