Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
