You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
