I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
