Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I wish i was in the wii world.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
