found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
