Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
