this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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