Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
