He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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