You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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