Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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