worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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