Porn is love you can see.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
