we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
