That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
