You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
