BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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