Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
BRING THE BAGELS
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
