Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
