singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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