i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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