It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
