Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
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