It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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