So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
