I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
