it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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