literally had 100 drinks last night.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize