You just made me feel so damn special
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
