Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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