Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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