I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
