of course. lets lasso hookers.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
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our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
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We had sex on a dog bed..
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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