Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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